I'm totally going to die! I'm so going to die right now!

Now I don't know if I'll ever see my Rabbi again; if I'll see anyone again. I'm about to freaking die in the middle of the deep blue sea. Those bright blue skies and the peachy sunset just went south and now, we're about to drown. Drown. I'm too young to die, too damn young I tell ya. What have I gotten myself into? What have I done wrong?

They warned me that this guy was trouble. They told me that this "Jesus" would lead me to the gutters, warned that He had nothing to offer and still I followed, blindly. I never listen you know. Now I wonder what would happen to my siblings if I die. Dad warned me, reminded me of my responsibilities and still I left it all, abandoned my home and my family. And all for what? To die like a simple gnat in the middle of the sea? I might not even get buried. All for this "Jesus". If I get out of this alive, I am going home. If I'm gonna drown let it be in Mama's chicken soup.

What the...? Is that a ghost?! Is that a ghost?!! Oh men, oh men, oh men!!! I'm really dead now. How is that...thing, -being, whatever!- moving on the water? Glowing and coming right towards us!!! God, please just let me drown; it'll be far easier and cleaner than being taken out by a ghost. In the middle of the sea. But what if...what if it takes me out and then I drown? Oh, now I'm scared. Two deaths at once. Someone remind me why I got on this boat? I never listen. I should never have followed this man. I'm so dead.

'Hey, Peter. I know I'm not too good at this emotional stuff, but its been fun knowing you. I'm sorry we have to go like this but before this ghost thingy takes us out, I just want you to know that you've been... Peter. Peter! Are you even listening to me? I'm giving my farewell speech here! Wait what? Jesus? Nooo. That can't be him on the water. Peter, you're seeing things. I don't really blame you, seeing you're about to die. Oh well..."

Okay, it does seem like Jesus. Wow! It's him;  yep, He can walk on water now, just great. Just when I thought my life couldn't get more weird, my Master is walking on water.

Peter's crazy you know. What's all this talk about jumping into the sea to meet Him? Aren't you already scared enough, haven't you peed your undies, wet your loincloth already with the waves tossing; now you want to go out there?! Be my guest, throw away your life for all I care. I'm staying here. I'm not moving an inch. LOL Peter! Kill yourself. I like the boat. Its safer here.

I said it. He's drowning now, he's going under! I warned him,"STAY", but he won't.  Wait...no! The Master has drawn him up. Whoa. Now Peter's walking on water.

The look on his face, just because he had the guts to jump out. And me, what have I gotten for playing it safe? Nada. Nothing. If only I had believed, if only I had trusted a bit more maybe just maybe, I might have an awesome story to tell. But I will forever be known as one of the guys on the boat while Peter will be the guy that walked on water. If only I had more faith. If only I believed.

Forget the boat. Its safe but its easy. I want to walk on water. I want to break boundaries. "Master, forgive my unbelief. I forgot that you just fed five thousand people with five loaves. I forget that you would never let me go; that you placed me on this boat and you'll never let me sink. Help me walk on water. Help me leave the boat".

He smiles. And in that moment, I know I have a second chance. I know, I get to try again.