Tears

Words fail me.
When the tears come and I stare at them
Dropping thick and fast
Like the morning dew off the flower petals
My tongue ties up and my heart bleeds
For you.

I need you to know.
That it would be okay.
That death must come.
One day, you'd understand.
Dry your tears.
God is in control.

Cry to Him. Shout at Him.
Ask Him why. Vent your frustration.
Empty your pain.
Cry. Cry and cry.
It's okay to cry.

Because as I sit here typing this
I see you cry.
I see the floodgates of your soul
Emptying its grief into the ocean
From the deltas of your tear ducts
I see the tears with my mind's eye.
It ties my tongue, I don't know why.

But, when I finally find the words
I hope you'd know
That my heart bled for you.
My heart bleeds for you.
But my tongue was tied.
My heart ties my tongue.
I don't know why.

Vines

Twisted twigs and knotted vines
Tell the story of my hurting soul
Beneath the smiling face I present
Dwells the pain of a blotted past.

Flowing fluid in a mashy clime
Clean sap channeled in vines
From roots embedded in filthy swamps
Story of my life
The blood in my veins
Sitting in the guilt of self blame; shame.

Flooded by the rainforest storm
The waters as stagnant as my progress
The thick African drops from the skies
The sandy drips from the tree barks
Reminding of blessings unused.

So I pray the adventurer comes my way
With his sharpened machete
Tearing at my filth and dismay
Untangling the twisted twigs and knotted vines
I pray the heart hunter brings hope
To this jungle that is my soul.

The Thirst

In the middle of the dark
Lies a darker heart
Searching for truth
For fulfillment evasive

Alone in the shadows
Thirsty still, tasted all
Tasting still, till the thirst
Becomes stilled

One day, we would know
Why God bothered to mould
These longing hearts
Soldered into flesh and bones

Till then we'd dwell
With grasping hands that tell
Of the emptiness that is
The futility that we live

Mogbonjubade

A princess with bloodline royalty
Pumped by a beating heart
And a livened soul
Questing for life
With lungs insatiable
The scent of new conquests
Alluring; enticing

Eloquent and daring
Dashing; sanguine-ish
A seemingly stunning masterpiece
Erudite shining silhouette

Beneath it all, unravelling,
She lies, fluid and malleable
Nursing a mind grappling to understand
The definition of a royalty
Embellished with divinity

So patiently, she waits
With a beating heart and a livened soul
Mogbonjubade,
May you become the queen
You were born to be.
God's own.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Mogbonjubade is a Yoruba name, translated as "The one who grows to meet the crown".

The Hubby (2)

It had been heaven since then. He called her every weekend, Friday at nine, like clockwork.  Their conversations were long, increasing as they went on, first for five minutes, then fifteen and sometimes thirty. They hardly chatted on WhatsApp, except the occasional compliment he threw her way anytime she changed her profile picture. He didn't add her on Facebook, though she knew she was within his sights. He kept her guessing and played a coy flirting game, making himself all the more interesting. Without even trying very hard, he had won her heart. In just a month, after ten random conversations with this "Chuks", she could swear that she was already in love.

Then came the waiting game. She was sure he was interested in her, but didn't know how interested he was, or if she was the only one receiving these calls. She would tell herself how Chuks would dial the next girl's number after cutting the call and then call the next one after that. She doused her tension with the imagination that he was a player, the tales about being a serious Christian were all pick up lines and that if any man was too good to be true, he was better left alone; a heartbreak waiting to happen was all that he was. Whatever was necessary to keep herself from waiting for his call with teenage butterfly glee.

Still, like a magnetic pull that combined with the hour hand of her sitting room clock, she found herself going to the bathroom at 8:30 pm, every Friday, to get ready for bed. By 8:55, her pulse would start racing and her heart would beat with fever pitch. There was the day he didn't call till 9:03 pm and those were the longest three minutes of her life, in her dramatic opinion. He called,every Friday, getting her deeper into the pool of infatuation with each call. By the second month, she stop fighting her feelings and gave herself up to the possibility of her first heart break since David.

There was one particular day that was etched in her memory, the start of their road to the altar. They had spoken for over thirty minutes and had gotten to that point in the conversation when they had nothing else to say to each other and just hung on to the phone to hear each other purr. She held on to his gentle breath over the phone and asked herself how she would get out of this if she had to. She was broken and unraveled, handing over the pieces to Chuks to hold. He was in charge of where they went from here and she hoped it was for forever.

"Oge...", she picked the stammer in his voice and her heart knotted up in anxiety, wondering if she would get her wishes granted that day," Oge, I just got to say something. I've been denying it for a while now because I didn't want to say something and get you interested and then have to break your heart". Through his rhetoric, Oge kept silent, with her emotions building up and her head calculating and computing the events in real time. " You know I care about you and I don't want to hurt you...you know right?", he danced around, over and over again and she stayed patiently mouthing mumbled replies, gently nudging him to spill the beans. "So, bottom line, I'm ready to take the risk. Oge dear, be my girlfriend. Oh...sorry...Oge, would you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?"

Those were the words she had wanted to hear for a long while now and now that they had finally been delivered, she was speechless. A million emotions ran through her head and when she tried to say something, it turned out to be gibberish. She kept the call going, to the fortieth minute now and she wondered where he got the money from. No matter, because he had handed emotional control over to her and she was in charge for as long as she liked. The only option now was to play it cool; she had rehearsed this day many times ahead.

"Chuks", she started after regaining her calm." Thanks, I'm honored at the offer". Her politeness always skyrocketed when she was in awkward situations and she asked herself if that didn't sound too formal, before reminding herself she was in control." Chuks, this is so sudden. I'd need sometime to think about it. Is that okay?", she asked with a dead coolness that hid every bit of ecstasy she felt at the moment. "No problem, Oge. Take all the time you need. I hope you'd say yes. You know we would make a lovely couple. I think I'm already too far gone. If you say no, I'd probably die. But no pressure. Good night Oge. Dream of me".

As he hung up,Oge rushed to her call log to view the call length. 51:43, it read. She stared at the phone with a blissful disbelief twinkling in her eyes wondering if that call really happened. It was well into the night,but sleep had never been further away from her eyes. It was as if her imagination was merging with reality, as the possibility of being a Mrs. Ebiye was as alluring as ever. She knew she had no choice but to say yes to Chuks, but she wanted to own the power for just a little while. She thought of him as she stared at her reflection in the wall mirror and she couldn't help but give away an evil half smile.

Love Unreal

I love you
Not just for the times you loved me first
Not just for the five o' clock steaming amulets
Or the final tuck in of my shirt in my wee years

I love you
Not just for the cleaning of the crust from my eyes
As my sleepy kindergarten self headed out for school
Or the many more times you cared in my ignorance

I love you
For the gentle touch that complements Dad's stern hand
For the corrections in gentleness, without once raising your hand
For the blank look, rendering my mind games futile
For my learning of a lady's fickleness just by staring at you

I love you
For the standard you set on how to be a wife
For the stretching of sacrificial lengths that confound reason
For the diplomatic centre you bear to douse tension
For the smiles, laughter and simplicity you share

I love you
For the fact that you love me more
For the fact that you'd see this poem and smile
For rendering all my displays of love an insufficient repayment
For making everything I can do for you atomically tiny

I love you.
I really love you.
Happy sixtieth Mom.
You're love unreal.

The Hubby

"Ogechi. Ogechi, don't think of it oh. Are you alright?". Stephanie sat on the thick comfy mattress of her friend's king sized bed, crossing her legs. She stared at Ogechi sitting on the bedroom floor knees touching and feet apart, with her face in her palms. She was used to seeing her friend disturbed, but never like this before. This was serious, though she was being light hearted about it.

The room was large and glowing from the uplift painting done before they moved in. There was the master's bed Oge and Chuks shared, with a large orthopedic mattress for his back ache. Then there was the wooden wardrobe  Oge was resting on adjacent to the bed and beside the entrance door. The giant mirror rested on the wall opposite the wardrobe and next to the window. Dirty clothes were overflowing  a blue laundry basket at the corner of the room, proof of Oge's distraction. On a normal day, she couldn't bear the stench of overnight sweat.

As she sat on the floor, she recalled the bliss she felt when she fell for Chuks, a year ago. They met at a friend's one year anniversary, each of them invited by the couple separately. It was a small gathering, a low key celebration, just for the fun of it and the guest list was no more than five. She noticed him on the sofa, seated quietly. It could have been the bright white collared shirt he wore, or the creamy trousers that went so perfectly with them. Or maybe it was the suit that seemed  like overkill, or the combination of the three. He didn't need to speak to get her interested, though as a lady, she tried to hide her interest as much as possible. She didn't know he noticed her until later that evening.

She was drop dead gorgeous, though she didn't really believe it, her confidence had always been average. She had a trim figure, with a light chocolate coloured skin that glowed from the skin product pampering that had gone on for years. Her head was oval, with her forehead protruding slightly, shadowing two squinted Asian looking eyes. That day, she wore a firm green gown that ended just above her knees and knitted black easy wear shoes to go with them. Her make up was light but ravishing, enough to get a 9:00 pm phone call from a smitten gentleman.

"Hello. This is Oge right?", he asked with a baritone voice far beyond his age. She paused and delayed her reply, wondering if she was dreaming. She composed herself before replying, not wanting to let out her elation. "Yes. This is Oge. Please, who is this?", she replied, feigning ignorance. He then introduced himself and told her how he got the number. He had stayed back after the party and pressured his friend's wife for her number, "the girl in green" as he put it specifically. He apologized on her behalf for the breach of privacy, insisting she had no choice, as he would not take no for an answer. It was the stuff of dreams and she couldn't imagine that she could get his attention, let alone his interest. But he was the same guy she met at the party, now on the other end of the call.
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To be continued next week.

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